Beards are everywhere these days. People have taken to sporting the facial fluff like it’s going out of fashion.
What’s important to remember, though, is that no matter how good your beard is, there’s always going to be an animal with a better one. Travel: unveiling the best beards of the animal kingdom since forever.
1. Ibex – Europe
Epic horns, epic beard. Photo by markusmayer
Graceful, horned, elegant, agile, massive beard.
2. Bearded emperor tamarin – Brazil and Peru
More moustache than beard, but still impressive. Photo by Anna Kucherova
Not only is this monkey an emperor, it also has a moustache to make even the most moustachioed of men jealous.
3. Bearded dragon – Australia
Spiky beard. Photo by Elina Litovkina
Part dragon, part beard. This animal wins extra points for having the most dangerous name in the animal kingdom.
4. Seal – just about everywhere
Baby beard. Photo by Mirae Campbell
No, not ‘Kiss from a Rose’ Seal. We might not have seen him for a while, but we don’t think he has a massive beard. If he did, we’d know.
5. Lion – Africa and Asia
King of the Beards. Photo by Maggy Meyer
A lion has a beard that circumnavigates its entire neck. It’s probably the biggest beard in the animal kingdom. Some people try to call this beard a “mane”, but those people don’t know what they’re talking about. It is a massive beard.
6. Most dogs – just about everywhere
Brows to match. Photo by Elena11
How many dogs have you seen with massive beards? Our guess is more than you’ve seen without beards. Special mention goes to Schnauzers, Scottish terriers, West Highland terriers and bearded collies. Apologies to those dogs who didn’t make this list. There’s always next year.
7. Markhor – Afghanistan
A very long beard. Photo by Igor Boldyrev
These creatures are found in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Indian Kashmir, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan, and they have absolutely glorious beards. Perhaps the most glorious of them all.
8. Goat – Southwest Asia and Eastern Europe (originally)
The original goatees. Photo by Artsiom Petrushenka
The goat is probably the most famous of all the bearded animals, having featured in such films as Goat Wars: Revenge of the Beards and The Lion, the Witch, and the Massive Goat’s Beard.
9. Bearded pig – Borneo, Philippines, Malaysia
Warty beard. Photo by Stacey Ann Alberts
One-upping its unbearded relatives, the bearded pig is the most respected pig in the pig world. Often mistaken for wizards, bearded pigs are found in Borneo and are almost as rare as moustachioed elephants. Almost.
10. Bison – North America
Bison beards. Photo by Suntrek.
Bison are most well known for having massive heads. A lesser-known fact about bison is that fact that they also have massive beards. They also have a haircut that is almost identical to that of Captain Spock.
11. Catfish – everywhere except Antarctica
Still a beard. Photo by Vladimir Wrangel
No, they are not whiskers. That is a massive beard.
12. Orangutan – Borneo and Sumatra
Wise beard. Photo by Rosie Young.
Men often find that for no reason, in particular, their beard turns ginger when it gets to a certain length. This has been a concern for centuries, but for no reason. The orangutan is a testament to just how handsome a massive ginger beard can be.
13. Tiger – India, China, Siberia and Sumatra
Fluffy beard. photo by mlorenz
We are of the opinion that all tigers were jazz musicians in their past lives. The proof is in the soul patch.
14. Iguana – Central America and Polynesia
Saggy beard. Photo by Sean Kennaway.
Mostly reptile, partly beard.
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15. Turkey – North America
Turkey beard. Photo by Tory Kallman
Some call them dewlaps, we call them Turkey beards.
16. Highland cattle – Scotland
Full body beard. Photo by Zbyszko
The highland cattle have an extra-special place on this list (last, and therefore best place) because their entire body is essentially a beard. You cannot have met a highland cattle and dispute this. We have emailed UNESCO and requested that all highland cattle be declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site because of this fact.
Ready to compare beards with the animals of the world? Explore our range of wildlife-focussed small group adventures now.
Feature image by Ivan Mateev.
